'I Learnt My Biggest Lesson When Someone Told Me I Was A Brat On The Golf Course'

All the talk of a ‘Brat Summer’ reminded me of my own connection to the word. Like many who turn a hobby into their profession, I don’t play as often as I once did, having small children being the main contributing factor. So, when I do get the chance, I just feel lucky to be able to escape the world for a few hours, which has resulted in me being far more laid-back about how well I play, but that wasn’t always the case.

I joined my first golf club aged 12 and progressed quickly, reducing my handicap from 32 to 7 by the age of 14. Becoming a single figure golfer was a huge achievement and so, as is all too common with teenagers, I thought I knew it all.

I soon gained a place on the county girls' squad, as well as the ladies' county team, with the biggest accolade being selected for the England U16s training squad. Competitive golf became my life. I have always liked to laugh and joke, but when it came to competition time, it was serious, everyone was serious, I was serious. Being in that environment can make you a perfectionist and want to live up to the expectations placed on you.

I watched the other girls and ladies who were better than me tut, huff and puff and click at the ball and thought, that’s how you needed to act to show you were serious and really good. I thought you were meant to say how unlucky every bad bounce was or talk about it being unfair if your ball landed in a divot (I mean, it kind of is). I thought even when you hit a good shot you had to act like it could have been better.

I spent years with this huffy puffy, everything should go my way on a golf course type of attitude, and I guarantee, you can likely name people you play with who behave like this, behave like… spoilt brats.

Luckily my attitude was forever changed one fateful summer day thanks to a social game with a chap I met from a county match between Cheshire ladies against Lancashire men. I sadly can’t remember his name, but the impact of his words remains. We met for a knock around Delamere Forest, he was a seasoned county men’s player with lots of experience of top-level amateur golf.

On about the 14th hole, and not surprisingly given his ability, I found myself a few holes down. After another missed putt I asked for advice on what to improve and he said something along the lines of ...

Why do you think everything should go your way? So what, your ball is in a bad lie, what are you going to do, cry and whinge about it? Huff and puff and complain how unfair it is? You act like a like a brat over every bad shot or bounce, and only happy when it goes well. Is that going to help you get out of a tough situation or hinder you? You need to stop the emotional rollercoaster, stop moaning and get on with it!

Being part of the England set-up meant I was lucky enough to have received lots of psychology lessons about how to behave and what to think about when competing, but this message delivered in a strong Lancashire accent felt like being struck by lightning and stopped me in my tracks. It was nothing short of a mindset revelation because he was right. I was more concerned with acting the part of a good golfer and whinging about the bad breaks than I was with actually playing the game.

The other consequence of acting like a brat on the golf course is the impact it can have on those you are playing with. When you act like this you are not a fun person to be with and it can be downright unpleasant for your playing partners. Being a coach, I witness this time and time again when coaching out on the course, but I also understand how this pattern of behaviour can be a tough habit to break.

If this has resonated with you or someone you know comes to mind when reading this, the good news is you can change your ways. Here are my 5 tips for any golfing brats out there.

Control Your Ego

Golf is hard, only a small percentage of people in the world put in the work to be good at it, and that likely isn’t you. You should not and cannot expect to play well all the time. Enjoy the good shots, enjoy the game, and remember; no one cares about your golf as much as you do. 

Whether you are ecstatically happy when it’s going well or grumpy when it’s going badly, your behaviour will likely be equally as annoying to those you play with. Do not create an environment where your playing partners have to walk on eggshells dependent on your game. Have respect for their time and money spent to be out on the course with you.

Remember Why You Started Playing

Golf is meant to be fun! Embrace and enjoy the ups and downs of one, if not, the most challenging game ever played. The greatest players of all time were the greatest because of their ability to deal with tough challenges or impossible shots, those are the ones we as fans remember, Seve anyone? If you are too busy berating the course or your clubs, you will miss out on your chance to play some magical shots.

More Harm Than Good

Being a brat will not help your game and will only make you worse. This should be the biggest revelation. It will only harm your score. You take yourself and your golf seriously, you spend your hard-earned money on the game and yet you ruin your chances to do well by acting like a child and throwing your toys out the pram. This attitude and way of thinking will only cost you shots and potentially friends.

Take On The Challenges

Acting like a brat means you have the passion and the desire to do well, so use it! Redirect that energy into taking on every challenge and bad bounce golf throws at you, because there is no such thing as perfect golf. Accept this truth and you are already on your way to better golf.

Respect The Game

Golf is unique in the sense where etiquette, respect to others and the course is deemed just as important as the game itself. The game is bigger than you and how well you play. Every time you tee it up you should be open to learning not only about your own game but about yourself and how you handle adversity, so don’t close yourself off to the lessons golf can teach you.

Hopefully the above will be enough to help those of you who struggle to have a shift in mindset. As a former golf course brat, my enjoyment of the game and ability to recover from the bad breaks golf inevitably throws at me has only improved once I reframed my mind. Am I perfect? Absolutely not. I still have many moments when I feel myself getting hot under the collar but being older and wiser, I am now far more considerate of those I am playing with and kinder to myself. After all, life is hard enough, and golf should be a joyful escape for everyone including you.